blood on his fingertips
by sami1010220
Summary: Harry Potter's life sucks. He killed everyone who ever loved him, and his "friends" are only with him because they pity him. But when he gets sent back in time, to when his parents went to Hogwarts, will he finally have a chance for a happy life, or will
1. suprised potter?

A/N: : : : : Hey everyone!! How are you guys? Okay, for those of you who read my other story, "just a little closer", this is defiantly nothing like that. If you love long, detailed stories, that fic was probably a piece of hell. This should be better. In this story, if you hadn't gathered from the intro, this is a Harry Potter fic. Harry's life sucks. But he somehow goes back in time (I'm not telling you how!) and finds that he is at Hogwarts with his parents. I have no clue how I had come up with this, but I did. The story will be for a couple of chapters (like the first two or three) about how the Dursleys are all mean. But it gets more interesting after that, I promise. . . at least I hope so. I won't know unless you R&R, now will I? Hope you like it.  
  
Blood on His Fingertips  
  
Chapter One: Surprised Potter?  
  
". . . . Harry . . . . "  
  
'Leave me alone'  
  
". . . Potter . . . "  
  
'Go away'  
  
"POTTER!!!"  
  
Harry Potter abruptly sat up. He could hear his uncle Vernon descending down the stairs, coming to his cupboard. He sat up and readied himself for what he knew was coming. Sure enough, his uncle unlocked the many locks on the cupboard, threw opened the door, seething, and grabbed Harry by the collar of his shirt.  
"First, you wake us up at an insane hour at night with your screams, and now you decide to catch up on your beauty sleep instead of doing your chores? I refuse to let you do that in my house!" said Vernon as he viciously backhanded Harry. "Now, come and make us breakfast."  
As Vernon closed the door, (but didn't lock it, as Harry was expected to do his chores), Harry put his hand to the back of his head, felt something wet. He drew his hand back and saw with the light coming from the small cracks in the cupboard door, blood on his fingertips. He blinked, and suddenly he saw more blood gushing from the tips of his fingers, running down his hands and arms. Harry felt sick.  
' Where is all this blood coming from?'  
He didn't have to wait long for an answer. An instant later, shadowy figures slowly, one by one, became visible. It took a while for Harry to figure out who they where.  
The first one who showed up pointed accusingly at Harry. "You killed me, Potter, you killed US!" yelled the voice of Cedric Diggory. "If you were as brave as people made you out to be, you would have saved me. You could have stopped the curse if you wanted to. Maybe you were scared, or just plain lazy. Deep down, though, I think that you just wanted me dead."  
"No, that's not true," whispered a shaking Harry.  
Cedric ignored Harry and continued. "You just wanted me out of the way. You wanted all the fame, and I was stealing it. You knew that the trophy was a Portkey, didn't you?" No, I didn't. How could I have known? How would I-" "Stop with your excuses Potter, it's embarrassing," said the new, familiar voice. Harry turned and let out a startled cry as he saw his godfather appear.  
"Surprised potter?" Harry's stomach lurched. Never before had Sirius called him potter. It was always Harry, or kiddo, but not potter. He almost sounded like a Malfoy. "What's wrong potter? Scared to face your past? Well, you can't run away from us. First, you killed your parents, then Diggory, and then ME! All I did was love you potter, and how do you repay me? You killed me!"  
By this time tears were flowing down Harry's cheeks. "That's not –"  
"Shut up potter. I'm sick of your excuses. If you weren't so weak, you wouldn't need any excuses, and you would have family and friends who actually care about you. But now you don't. The only people who cared about you are dead. The people in your life right now are either scared of you, or they pity you. You can't let them get close to you Harry." "I can't let them get close . . . " Harry repeated mechanically, tears still going down his face.  
"That's right Harry, "Sirius continued, "because if you let them get close, you'll kill them. Just like you killed us."  
"No, I didn't, I –"  
"So what are you saying potter? Are you denying that you killed us? Are you going to blame it on Voldemort?" Sirius asked as he moved closer to Harry. Harry stayed silent. "Or are you going to blame it on us?"  
Harry didn't know what to say. He didn't want to blame Voldemort, because that would be another excuse, and he knew it wasn't their fault that they were dead. So the only logical explanation would be that Harry HAD killed them. But he had been told over and over that it wasn't his fault. Harry was just so confused, that he stayed in a stunned silence.  
After a minute Sirius began to laugh, but not his usual laugh. He sounded different, cruel. "Can you believe this James?" Sirius asked between laughs. "he actually thinks it's OUR fault!"  
'James?'  
Sure enough, when he looked up, he saw both of his parents looking at him in an angry scowl. "Don't rub it in Padfoot. I'm ashamed enough to call him my son," Said James.  
"How dare you!" lily exclaimed, shaking with fury. "We DIED because of you, and you went and killed not only a school friend, but a member of this family. You are no longer a member of this family!"  
"You're a disgrace to the name potter!" James said.  
"We tried to help you, and you killed us," said Cedric.  
"You're a weak coward and a murderer!" hissed Sirius, pointing at Harry again.  
They all pointed at Harry accusingly, and started walking towards him, trapping him in the corner of the cupboard. The towered over him, pointing and chanting "murderer, murderer..."  
"No, it's not true!" yelled Harry, closing his eyes and putting his hands over is ears, trying to tune them out, but failing miserably.  
  
"Murderer, murderer . . . . "  
  
"Potter?"  
  
"Murderer, murderer . . ."  
  
"Please, stop!"  
  
"Potter!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!"  
  
"Murderer, murderer. . . ."  
  
"Leave me ALONE!"  
  
"POTTER!"  
  
Harry felt a sharp pain in his stomach. He reluctantly opened his eyes, and felt relief fill him as he saw it was only his uncle, immediately followed by dread.  
"Boy, I told you ten minutes ago to come and make us breakfast. Now we have to go out somewhere. So do you know what I'm going to do?" Harry shook his head, though he already had a pretty good idea of what his uncle was going to do. "I'm going to make you pay for it."  
Vernon kicked Harry's side, making him double over in pain. "That," said Vernon, "was for not making our breakfast."  
"This, "he said, his knee hitting Harry on the chin, "is for being lazy."  
"This is for coming into our lives at all," Vernon said as he slammed Harry's head against the floor.  
This continued for what felt like hours to Harry. But when his uncle finally finished and opened the door, he could see that it was still morning. He tried to sit up, but his uncle kicked him back down.  
"You're still expected to do your chores," said Vernon as he turned to leave. "I will not tolerate laziness in this house," with that said, he left.  
Harry tried to sit up, but immediately fell to the floor. A new wave of dizziness, pain, and nausea washed over him, but he ignored it as best he could. He struggled to get up, knowing that his punishment would be terrible if he didn't. He didn't notice that, as he went through the door, blood was visible on his fingertips.  
  
A/N: : : : So how did you like it? Please review, or else I won't have any clue what I'm doing wrong. I'll try to update frequently, but I would at least like a few reviews before I go into the next chapter.  
Okay, in the next chapter, we see just how cruel the Dursleys can be.  
  
Word count : 1,406 


	2. Happy Birthday Harry

A/N : : : : I know this chapter is short, and that I wasn't going to post until a month after I posted the last chapter, but I have a good excuse. I didn't realize it before, but this is supposed to be part of chapter one! So instead of redoing the whole chapter and getting everyone confused, I figured that I could just make a new chapter. Hope you like it.  
  
Disclaimer : I know that I totally forgot in the last chapter, but lets just get this clear, because I refuse to try and remember to do this at every chapter. I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER!!! Okay, now continue. . . .  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Chapter 2: Happy Birthday Harry  
  
Harry was mowing the back yard lawn (he wasn't allowed to go in the front yard because his uncle didn't want him to be seen, in case someone actually noticed him), contemplating his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It had been horrible. He had been moody the whole time, he found out that he was a pawn in a game of war because of some stupid prophecy, his friends were always either scared of him or pitied him, and he had killed the only person who could give him the happiness and love that he had always hoped for. With these things in looming over him, he was less than enthusiastic about going back for his sixth year.  
Harry finished mowing and put the lawn mower inside the outdoor shed, just as it started to rain. He ran inside as fast as he could, arms over his head to avoid getting too wet. He went inside and closed the door behind him, maybe making a little too much noise.  
"Boy, what are you – eeeeeeeeekkkkk!" shrieked Harry's aunt Petunia. "Vernon, come quick! The potter boy is tracking mud all over the carpet."  
Vernon came bustling in, followed by a smirking Dudley. Vernon was turning red with a fury. "What did you think you were doing? Don't you have half a brain?" Vernon asked, kicking Harry in the gut.  
Harry doubled over in pain. A couple of seconds later, when he caught his breath, he said, "but it was raining outside, so I – "  
"Shut up boy, I've heard enough of your excuses . . . . "  
Harry's heart skipped a beat as Sirius's voice echoed in his mind. "Shut up potter, I'm sick of your excuses!"  
"Boy," shouted Vernon, "have you been listening to me?" he hadn't. "What's wrong with you? Get that stupid expression off your face! Now, go back outside and finish your chores."  
"He can't get that stupid expression off of his face father," piped in Dudley, "he can't help it. He's just plain stupid."  
Vernon and Petunia beamed at there so. "Would you listen to him Vernon? He's so intelligent. Not like this piece of scum. "Said petunia, pointing to Harry.  
Vernon turned back to Harry and said in a dangerously low voice (as petunia continued to compliment Dudley) "now listen here boy, first off, you will go back outside and stay out until you're dry."  
"But uncle Vernon, it's still raining."  
"Well then your going to be out there for a while, ay potter," said his uncle. "After you're dry, you'll come in and clean the mud off the carpet."  
"But it's going to rain all night, and the mud will have dried by- "  
"Just do it boy," Vernon said as he pushed Harry through the back door.  
Harry just stood where Vernon pushed him. There was nowhere to go that would shield him from the rain, as the Dursley's never went to their backyard. So Harry just stood, determined not to get his clothes full of mud. The clothes he was wearing were the only clothes he had besides his robes for school. Either way his clothes would be wet, but at least they wouldn't be dirty. The Dursley's didn't let him wash his clothes, so if they were wet then they would dry, but if they were dirty . . . .  
Harry was a grim sight indeed. His messy black hair was sticking to his face, but even the rain couldn't make it stay down. The wind was blowing his hair and showing his once bright emerald green eyes. His eyes were sparkling, though not with hope and not because of the rain. Harry was crying. He was thinking of his life before the third task, before Sirius's death. He thought of what his life could have been, and of what his life was like now, and he cried. If someone had looked into his eyes, they would have seen the last bit of hope disappear in them as Harry finally gave up trying. They would have seen him die inside as he fell to the ground in exhaustion . . . . They would have heard him say "happy birthday Harry" to himself as Harry James Potter, the physical proof that there was good in the wizarding world, die inside.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
A/N : : : : okay, that's it until the 20th. I hope that it was okay. Here are my replies for the reviews:  
  
ferokeroberos - yeah, that's how I always saw the Dursley's too. I can tell you, though, that it might be a while before he goes back in time, I'm on the sixth chapter, and he still hasn't gone back in time (although he's about to). But I'm going to try to put more than one chapter into a chapter, that way things will move faster. I just want everyone to see how much Harry has changed before I move on. Well, I read and reviewed your story, so I hope you do what I said and update soon.  
  
Erdeniorn - thanks for the support. I'm glad that you told me about the mistakes. I'll go back and try to spot them, but if you could point some out that would be helpful. I don't know. I probably won't fix it unless there are quite a few mistakes, but the mistakes I find will definitely help for future chapters.  
  
Bianca Ocean - thanks. I'm glad that you liked my story. I hope you continue to R&R.  
  
Okay, the next chapter is when Harry goes on the Hogwarts express. Don't worry, I'll do my best to update on schedule. But can somebody tell me what month Harry goes to Hogwarts? That would be a lot of help. And also, if your really bored and like reading story's about Harry getting abused and then saved by people from the Hogwarts staff, then this story is for you.  
  
With Time Comes Trust - Sirius Black comes to get his 10-year-old  
Godson from the Dursleys and uncovers what Harry was really dealing with  
throughout his ten years.  
  
And then the sequel, which I think I like just as much, if not more.  
  
Fever - [Year 1] A contagious flu-like virus hits Hogwarts, and its  
victims aren't getting better. Can the professors find the root of this  
problem and a cure or does Harry manage to stop it and risk his life,  
definitely without any approval from his guardians ?  
  
All right, I'll update as soon as possible. Sami  
word count : 1,214 


	3. hello again, Ron and Hermione

A/N: : : : : : : okay, sorry you guys, but I might be a while till the next one, and it's going to be kind of short (although the fifth chapter is going to be twice as long as this one). I was recently walking home in the rain (don't ask..), and I stupidly forgot to put my story out of harms way. So, not all my papers are wet! Luckily I had this typed up already, but this was about all. So, it's going to be a while until the next chapter is put up. Okay, for all of you who are wondering, "god, when are they going to travel back in time?!?", well, soon. In the sixth chapter I'm sure. You'll see. I think it's pretty good, but I won't know what you think unless you review...SO PLEASE REVIEW!!! Okay, it's mandatory that you read the author's note for the fifth chapter. Very important!! Alright, in this chapter Harry finally sees Ron and Hermione after months apart, but is that what he wants?  
  
Chapter 3 : Hello Again, Ron and Hermione  
  
"Out of the car boy," said Harry's uncle as they pulled into the train station. It was September first, which meant that it was time for Harry to go back to Hogwarts.  
Dudley pushed Harry out of the car and onto the floor, which seemed to put Harry's fat cousin into hysterics. Vernon ignored his son's laughter and grabbed a large hooded jacket from the front of the car, pulling if over Harry's head.  
"Now listen here boy," whispered Vernon venomously, "I want you to wear this until you can do your magic shit, then you can make it so that people can't see what you really look like. If they do, there will be consequences."  
Harry didn't need to be told twice. For one thing, he didn't want to get beat more than he had to. But he also wanted to conceal his appearance because of his reputation. He could see the headline now:  
  
**The boy who lived abused by muggles? How could he defeat the dark lord if he can't even stand up to some fat muggle?**  
  
He could see the looks of pity on his professor's faces. He could see his friends scorning looks. He could see the people he cared about, lying on the floor dead, their eyes wide open, much like Cedric's were . . . .  
His uncle, who had thrown Harry's school things at him, hurting his already cracked ribs, quickly brought Harry out of his thoughts. Not only that, but bones were sticking out because he hadn't eaten for a few months (A/N : : : yes, a few months. He didn't eat much during the school year as it was, but a month or two before he went home for the summer, he stopped eating out of anticipation and because he knew that the Dursley's rarely gave him anything to eat). His uncle kept throwing things to Harry, though, despite the look of pain on Harry's face.  
Once everything was taken out of their car, the Dursley's took off without so much as a word to Harry. So Harry found a trolley and went through to platform 9 ¾. He was very early, so nobody really noticed or cared when he got onto the train. He found the compartment where he and his friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, usually met, and opened the door.  
"Harry, how –"  
Harry quickly shut the door and walked down the empty, narrow hallway. He could hear his name being called, but he didn't stop. He felt like a complete idiot! He should have known that his friends would be there early. The Weasley's were very involved with the Order of the Phoenix, a group of people intent on stopping the dark lord, Voldemort, form coming to power. They were probably on important business and had to drop Ron and the rest off early. And Harry had a feeling that Hermione had stayed with them during the summer because she was in danger. She probably wouldn't be a target if Harry hadn't dragged her to the department of mysteries, where he also got his godfather, Sirius Black, killed.  
But Harry didn't have time to think about that now. He closed the doors that separated different sections of the train behind him, hoping that he could lose his friends long enough to put on decent concealing charms. He turned suddenly, walking into a compartment, shutting it quickly, and locking himself in. Harry didn't have much time. he could hear his friends calling for him, opening compartment doors to see if he was in any of them. He started working on the concealing charms, but it wasn't long before Hermione was knocking on the compartment door that Harry was in.  
"Harry?"  
Harry worked faster.  
"Harry?" Hermione asked, trying to open the door. Of course, she couldn't get in. Harry had put a very powerful locking charm on the door. Only a skilled wizard could open the door. Harry, hearing Hermione's futile attempts to unlock the door, couldn't help but smile. He had grown to be a very powerful wizard, and he was sure that his parents and Sirius would have been proud of him.  
"Alohomora, alohomora, aloha – oh, damn it! Ron, come help me."  
Harry frowned. He knew that neither of his friends alone could open the door, but together . . . . . . . . .  
"Ready Ron? On the count of three. One . . . ."  
The door flew opened just as Harry had taken off his jacket. Harry was thrown to the other side of the compartment, his head hitting and breaking the glass of the window.  
"Shit," He muttered as he slid down the wall.  
"Oh my god, Harry!" he heard Hermione shriek after finding Harry crumpled on the floor. Harry could barely see Ron and Hermione through the black specks that were dancing around his eyes. He tried to open his eyes, but when he did it made his eyelids feel very heavy. He opened them again, forcing himself to stay awake. He felt dizzy, and everything was moving. He could see tears forming in Hermione's eyes, and behind her a concerned Ron.  
  
"Oh Harry, we're sorry, we just saw you run off . . . . . . .Ron, go get some help."  
"No!" yelled Harry, trying to get up, but failing miserably. "Look," he said calmly, gaining control of his emotions (another thing he learned to do better over the summer), "I'm fine. Just help me get up, okay."  
Hermione looked at Ron, who just shrugged, not really knowing what to do. So, reluctantly, both of them helped Harry to his feet. When they let go of him, he swayed a little, but managed to stay balanced. He walked out of the compartment closely followed by his friends, leaving his jacket on the floor. Hermione was just about to leave when ton stopped her.  
"Ron, what-"  
"Hermione, look . . . . " said a very pale Ron in a low whisper.  
Hermione gasped. There was a trail of blood leading from the window to where Harry had been sitting moments ago.  
  
A/N: : : : : : okay, so that was the third chapter. I hope everyone liked it. Like I said, I know that it wasn't very long, and I was planning on making it longer, but due to my recent "accident", I won't be able to do that. So yeah, I'm sorry. If it's any consolation, I plan on making the others about twice as long as this one.

** Review replies:**

Bluetiger94 – yeah, well, I feel bad for Harry too, but it has to happen. If it doesn't, then . . . . . well . . . . then things just won't happen.

ferokeroberos – yeah, sorry about the length again. I really am trying to make the chapters longer, but they're going to be pretty short until the 5th chapter. Thanks for the date. I just felt that I had to get the date right at the beginning of this chapter.

Iluska – thanks. I really do like your story.  
  
All right everyone, until next time (I always try to update around the same time every month, but I'm going to be busy on the twentieth).  
  
-Sami  
  
word count : 1,398


	4. Not Yourself Anymore

A/N : : : : : : : hello again everyone. I know that I was supposed to wait until next month to update, but I couldn't wait (I'm not very patient....teehee, lucky you). Anyway, I hope that you guys like this chapter. This story may seem kind of weird now, but I have pretty much everything planned out, so it will all come together in the end. About the next chapter, it's important that you read the author's note. There is something important that regards the story that you have to know. Anyway, we can worry about that when I update next. Hope you like this chapter. In case you haven't noticed or were thinking that the chapters were too short, I have yet to write a chapter less than 1,000 word long. So anyway, just thought that you'd like to know that. Hope you enjoy this chapter . . . . . .yeah, so go ahead and read it . . . . .  
  
Chapter 4 : Not Yourself Anymore  
  
When Ron and Hermione got to their usual compartment, they found that Harry was asleep. They sat across from him, being as quiet as they could.  
"Is it okay that he's sleeping?" asked Hermione. "He could have a concussion, and I think that muggle doctors say that people who have those kind of injuries shouldn't sleep until a certain amount of time has gone by. And don't you think it's a little strange that I didn't see any blood on him as he left the compartment. And-"  
"Oh Hermione, you worry too much. He's fine! What I want to know is why he ran away from us in the first place, "said Ron.  
"Well, we'll confront him about it latter. Let's not wake him now, I guess," Hermione said. They stayed in silence until a few minutes later, when Harry started mumbling.  
"What's he saying Ron?" asked Hermione.  
"How am I supposed to know?" Ron replied, but Hermione's question was soon answered.  
"No, please, I didn't mean to . . . . . "mumbled Harry. Ron touched his shoulder, and all of a sudden Harry shouted, "No, please stop, I didn't mean to. Please, stop it!"  
"Harry, HARRY!" Ron shouted, trying to wake him up, but that only made him struggle harder.  
Ron, don't be stupid! This is how you wake someone up," said Hermione. "Accio glass of water." She took the cup that came flying toward her and poured it on Harry. He immediately sat up, tears mingling with the water that his friend had poured on him.  
"Harry?" said Hermione hesitantly.  
"I-I- . . . . "Harry bolted out the doorway before he could get out a full sentence.  
Ron made a move as if to follow him, but Hermione put a hand on his shoulder to stop him and shook her head.

* * *

Harry ran out of the room and down the hall, to the same compartment that he had done the concealing charm in. Harry thought back to the dream he had just had as he walked down the still deserted hall. The dream was pretty much the same as always, except this time the dream was more of a warning, telling him that his friends were getting too close and that he had to push them away before they got hurt, or worse.  
He opened the door to the compartment and picked up his jacket, turning to leave when he noticed read streaks down the wall under a broken window. Harry touched the back of his head and looked at his fingers. He didn't see anything, but his hand felt wet and sticky.  
'At least I know that the concealing charm worked,' he thought as he left the compartment and headed for the bathroom.

* * *

As soon as Harry got into the restroom, he took off the concealing charms to examine his latest injuries. He did not look so good. His hands were tinted red from touching the blood that was caked on the back of his head. His face had cuts from when he had his the class, as well as bruises and cuts from that summer. After getting a good look at himself and deciding that there was nothing to worry about, Harry took off his glasses and started to wash his face.  
"Damn, what happened to you potter?"  
Harry put his glasses back on and spun around to face Draco Malfoy. A WORRIED Draco Malfoy.  
Harry sighed. "What do you want Malfoy?"  
"I want you to answer my question Potter," said Draco as he walked closer to Harry, "what happened?"  
As Draco came closer, Harry backed up. Harry only went so far before he was backed into a corner, but Draco continued until they were almost nose-to –nose.  
"Tell me Potter, what happened?"  
"And why should I?" asked Harry angrily, regaining his ground and pushing a surprised Draco out of his way. "Why do you care? For years we've been enemies, and now you're suddenly concerned? Why are you doing this?"  
"Because," said Draco quietly, a little put out, "we are perfect for each other. I know you like to think otherwise, but you don't belong in Gryffindor. You may be brave and loyal, but you're also smart, cunning, devious, and dark. We could have been best friends! You belong in Slytherin, not in Gryffindor!"  
Harry looked at Draco, surprised, for about a minute before he pushed past him to get to the door. He was about to leave, but paused when Draco started to speak again.  
"You know I'm right Harry,' said Draco. "Look at your friends. You're nothing like granger and the Weasel . . . . . . at least not anymore."  
Harry stood there, on the verge of tears. He wasn't ready to face the truth.  
He walked out of the restroom, leaving Draco behind.  
  
A/N:::::::::::::::::::: hope you guys liked the chapter. I really am sorry it was soo short, but like I said, I updated early. There were supposed to be about 350 more words, but I don't know, I just didn't feel like adding them. So they'll be in the beginning of the next chapter. Okay, her are the  
  
REVIEW REPLIES :  
  
Erdeniorn - yeah, sorry about that. When I type I'm usually too busy trying to make the story sound better to notice stuff like that. But I can totally relate. I hate it when I read a story that just consists of a bunch of run on sentences that don't really make sense. I really do try my best though. If you point them out for me I would gladly change them, but I don't know how well I could do on my own.  
  
diamond004 - no, they're his friends. What I said in the summary about his friends only being with him because they pity him is what I imagine Harry feels. Ron and Hermione don't really play a huge part in this story, so I really tried to fit them in somewhere. Not that they don't pity him, but they are worried. As you can see, they're smart enough to know when to back off (or at least Hermione is, lol. No, I have nothing against Ron, but he really isn't that bright). Anyway, I try to update frequently, and as you can see I don't have much self-control and I keep posting weeks before I had planned to.  
  
ferokeroberos - yeah, run and Hermione should, but they won't, at least not yet. And Harry will end up in the hospital wing, just not anytime soon. Things will get brighter toward the middle, but you'll have to wait a little while. When he gets to the past the story will lighten up.  
  
Okay you guys, based on what you said I'm starting to think that maybe I should put this under drama as well. Man, I never thought that I could make someone cry, lol. But really, I'm sorry for the shortness, but at the rate I'm updating, I'm having trouble typing fast enough. So I have to divide the chapters. But yeah, if people are reading and just not reviewing, Harry is going to the future, and I already have that chapter written on paper, I just have to type it up. I'm wasn't supposed to post this chapter until June 20th, and so logically that means that I'm not supposed to update again until July 20th, but expect me to update again very soon (damn, you guys are lucky that I have no self control!!). so long for now! -Sami  
  
Word count : 1,407 


	5. Professor Ddear

**A/N:::::::::::** okay guys, I'm only updating because yesterday HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN came out, and I went to go see it. I was very disappointed. It didn't follow the book as well as the other two did, and they missed major parts, not to mention that you had to have read the book in order to understand a lot of it (for example, they never explained how Remus knew about the map, or who prongs, moony, padfoot, and wormtail were, or why Harry conjured a stag, and the list could go on and on and on). Like I said, I was very disappointed. Anyway, on with the story!  
  
**Important : in this chapter you have to pretend that nobody knows Voldemort's middle name. You know, his name is Tom Marvalo Riddle. In fact, not a lot of people know what his real name is anyway. Well, only a select few know that in this fic, so just play along, okay.

* * *

**Chapter 5 : Professor Ddear  
  
After putting on the concealing charms once again, Harry made his way out of the rows of empty compartments.  
  
"Harry...."  
  
Harry turned around and saw the head of Remus Lupin pop out of a compartment that he had just passed.  
  
"Professor Lupin?"  
  
Remus motioned for Harry to go into the compartment with him, so he did. When Harry was in the compartment, he took a moment to take a good look at his former professor. His hair was a little messy, as if he had been in a hurry, and had a lot more gray mixed in with his brown hair than the last time Harry had seen him. He had dark bags under his eyes and looked tired, which made Harry a little worried.  
  
"Professor, how are you? What are you doing here?"  
  
Remus smiled a bit. "I'm fine Harry," Harry knew this was a lie, "I'm here because the order thinks that Voldemort will make a move, now that everyone knows about last year."  
  
Harry nodded solemnly. He remembered last year very well. Remus had a worried expression on his face, knowing exactly what Harry was thinking. "How are you Harry?  
  
Harry looked at his feet and mumbled "fine", which made Remus a little more worried.  
  
In an attempt to comfort him, Remus whispered, his voice cracking, "it wasn't your fault Harry . . . . . . ."  
  
Harry looked up, and for the first time since last year, Remus looked into Harry's eyes. he saw something that scared and startled him. He saw . . . . .nothing. Harry's once glowing green eyes had turned into dull, lifeless gray orbs. Remus gasped and took a step back, not really paying attention to what he was doing. He immediately regretted it.  
  
Harry, looking hurt, said, "I'm sorry professor . . . . . . .I didn't mean to kill him." Remus saw a tear run silently down Harry's face as Harry turned and left.

* * *

Everyone was glad when the sorting was finished. As food appeared in front of the students, Harry couldn't help but feel annoyed. Ron and Hermione kept shooting worried glances at Harry, asking him why he wasn't eating, an answer ever he could barely answer. Remus, who was there as a guest along with a few other Order of the Phoenix members, such as Tonks, was looking at Harry as if he had grown a second head. Malfoy . . . . . well, he was just staring at him. Not only that, but his scar had been hurting something awful since he had arrived at Hogwarts.  
  
Harry just turned to his food when Dumbledor clanked his glass, calling for attention.  
  
"Students, staff, I would like to introduce to you our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, professor Tim Marvallo Ddear."  
  
Professor Severus Snape, Harry, and many of the Slytherin students choked on whatever was in their mouth (for Harry, who hadn't eaten at all, he choked on pumpkin juice). Harry looked up to see Dumbledor pointing to a man in maybe his early thirties. He had jet-black hair (hey, the same as Harry's) that went a little past his dark blue eyes. The newest member of the staff must have felt Harry's eyes on him, because he turned and looked directly at Harry. the pain in harry's scar increased as they stared at each other, eyes narrowed, for what seemed to last for hours. harry clenched his jaw to keep from crying out, and just as the pain became unbearable, Remus suddenly stuck his hand right in dears face, forcing him Ddear to look up and talk to Remus.  
  
Harry was startled, to say the least. He looked across the staff table to see a very nervous looking Snape. 'Uh oh, that can't be good,' thought Harry. His eyes narrowed even more, if possible, as he looked back to professor Ddear. 'I'm on to you . . . ' he thought as he turned back to his friends.

* * *

Remus Lupin was sitting at the staff table, eating his food and thinking of Harry. He was looking at Harry earlier, but Harry had flashed him a look of angry annoyance, so he just stared at his food. He didn't know what to make of Harry anymore. Remus just couldn't figure out what happened to the happy, bright-eyed child that had been replaced with a lifeless teenager.  
  
Remus looked up, looking at Harry, expecting him to get mad at him. He was not expecting what he saw at all.  
  
Harry was glaring at someone . . . . . . . from the staff table? Remus was even more startled when he was professors Ddear, eyes narrowed, smiling at Harry. But it wasn't a normal smile . . . . .  
  
'What is Harry doing?' thought Remus. Harry had never been like this to his knowledge. Even Snape didn't get this treatment. He looked over to Snape, at which point Remus really started to worry. Severus Snape, the most feared teacher at Hogwarts, was scared! That was not a good sign. And to make matters worse, Remus noticed that Snape was also starring at professor Ddear, much like Remus had stared at Harry earlier.  
  
Thinking of Harry again, Remus looked over to him, as if he couldn't leave him alone for a minute without Harry getting in trouble. But Harry was still just glaring at Ddear, and vice versa. Remus did not have a good feeling about this. What was wrong with Harry? He couldn't figure it out, so Remus decided to step in. he put his hand about a foot in front of Ddear's face. Ddear looked surprised, then his face became contorted in anger, and then became serene.  
  
"Hello, I'm Remus Lupin."  
  
"Tim Marvalo Ddear, pleasure to meet you." Ddear was now smiling a friendly smile, the exact opposite of the one he wore just seconds ago.  
  
Remus looked at Harry, who had a surprised expression on his face, before his expression darkened. This alarmed Remus, but he tried not to show it. 'we are defiantly going to have a talk later,' thought Remus with Ddear, never noticing the dangerous glint in the new professor's eyes.

* * *

"Harry!"  
  
Harry, who was leaving the great hall and heading up to his dorm, stopped walking. Remus caught up with him, panting a little.  
  
"Harry, we need to talk."  
  
Harry looked around. "Not here professor, somewhere more private."  
  
"That's fine Harry, but please stop calling me professor. I no longer teach here," said Remus with a small smile.  
  
Harry remained impassive. "Alright . . . Remus, I think I know a place we could go."  
  
Harry walked Remus to the room of requirements, his eyes watering in pain the whole way. When they entered, Harry was the first to speak.  
  
"So, you wanted to talk to me."  
  
"Yes Harry, I did. You've been acting very strange lately. Everyone's worried about you. What's wrong Harry? First you were acting strange on the train, then you were glaring at professor Ddear, and – "  
  
Remus was interrupted by Harry's laughter. But Harry didn't sound happy. He sounded cold, mean. Remus didn't know whether to be angry or scared. He went with the later.  
  
"Harry, what-"  
  
"Oh Remus, I should have known. The only people who seem to know what's going on besides me are the Slytherins." Harry paused, and then smiled a small, sad smile at the look on Remus's face, which was somewhere between scared and puzzled. "Well, if you want to know about Ddear . . . . Mr. Riddle, would you come out please?"  
  
"Harry, who are you talking to?" asked Remus, but Harry wasn't looking at him, he was looking over his shoulder with a frown on his face. Remus turned, but didn't see anything. Then about a minute later, a figure stepped out of the darkness. Remus gasped and took a step back. There stood professor Ddear.  
  
"Tim?"  
  
Ddear sighed and shook his head. "Harry, Harry, Harry, what where you thinking? You should have waited until the werewolf left. Now I'm afraid I'll have to kill him."  
  
"Yeah right!" laughed Harry. Harry must have noticed that Remus was getting more scared, because he said, "don't worry Remus, he can't kill you. Not yet." This, of course, did nothing to comfort Remus.  
  
"Harry, what's going on?" Remus asked, turning Harry around to face him.  
"I'm sorry Remus. I wish I didn't have to do this. To tell you the truth, I didn't think he'd follow us. Remus . . . . . . you're all I've got. I mean sure, there's Hermione and the Weasleys', but you're all I've got left of my family. I can't lose you."  
  
Remus was taken aback. He was moved, but had no clue why Harry was acting like this.  
  
"Harry, I don't understand. What's going on?"  
  
Harry smiled that sad smile again. "That's alright, you will. Riddle, please remove your charms."  
  
It was at this point that Remus paled considerable and took another step back. Ddear had waved his wand in front of himself and revealed black- as-night hair, deathly pale skin, and glowing red eyes.  
  
Ddear had become Voldemort.

* * *

**A/N : : : : : : :** I know, a sucky chapter, at least I think so. Okay, here are the  
  
Review replies :  
  
**Iluska, diamond004, ferokeroberos** - okay, you all left a comment about Draco, so I'll tell you all now. Draco does not really have a big part in this story. But I will tell you this, if I make a sequel (which I have a big idea for and I really am considering), and you guys want Draco to be a main character in that (whether that be a slash, or just having them as friends), I will. But in this story, I just used Draco to show that Harry has changed and that everyone sees that but Harry himself. I do think though, that Draco will at least make one more appearance in this story.  
  
**MuGgLeNeT27 -** good job on your story. I really like it. And thanks for reviewing mine. I hope you update soon.  
  
**vivas -** thanks for mentioning the spacing. When I wrote it on Microsoft, I had spaced it like I wanted it, but after you mentioned it I went to look at my story and found that it didn't show up the same way. And yeah, as I said before, Draco was just there to show how Harry has changed. I didn't mean to make him a big deal, at least not in this story. I don't know if you meant to say this, but Draco was saying that Harry belonged in Slytherin and not in Gryffindor. I'm trying to make him as dark as possible without going completely out of character. Harry , in my eyes, just isn't that dark, or at least not most of the time (he can be though . . . .shivers). And yeah, about that beta-thing, can you give me an email to send it to, because didn't you say that your usual email doesn't work? At least then I could send you one of my chapters.  
  
Okay guys, that's all for now. Please review, it means a lot to me to know what you think. I'll try to update school, but I'm getting really busy. Till next time!!  
  
-sami 


	6. Silver Dagger

**A/N:::::::::::** hey guys, sorry for the long wait. I just got out of summer school about a week or two ago, and since then I've been too tired to do anything. But then I realized that it was completely unfair that I do nothing while I have people waiting for me to update, so I decided to get my butt up and write this chapter! Okay, about the last chapter, as someone had pointed out (I'm too lazy to go find out who, go figure), I had ruined the whole story by forgetting a major detail that would later come into play....Harry's scar didn't hurt him! So, I wanted to say thanks to that person....who is ...hold on, I have it written somewhere....ah yes, I wanted to thank diamond004, because I wouldn't have caught that until it was waaaay too late to fix. Of course, I did fix the problem as best I could without messing it up too much.  
So, to show my thanks, **this chapter is dedicated to diamond004**! Yay!! Okay, now on with the chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 6 : Silver Dagger  
**  
"Shit!" After the initial shock, Remus took a step forward and pushed Harry behind him, glaring at Voldemort. He heard a faint chuckle from behind him, which completely confused him, but he didn't have time to think about it. He was facing Voldemort, he-who-must-not-be-named. The person who killed Lily, James, Sirius, and so many others . . . . Remus raised his wand and threw a curse at the dark lord. Voldemort blocked it without a thought, which terrified Remus. 

"Crucio," said Voldemort immediately after he deflected Remus's curse. Remus was too surprised to move. He just stood there, watching the curse fly at him in slow motion. Just as the curse was about to hit Remus, Harry jumped in front of him.

Harry started to shake. His face was contorted in pain, and after a few seconds he fell on his knees, but he never cried out. Finally, after a minute or two, Voldemort lifted the curse. Harry took long, deep breaths, then stood up.

"I don't think that you quite understood what I said Remus. You're all I have, so I will not allow you to be hurt."

Remus looked up at Harry, awed by his courage and loyalty. But then he saw something dark fall from Harry's face and hit the floor. Remus stared at it, almost as if in a trance, before realization dawned on him.

'It's blood!' Remus thought, alarmed. He could see blood hitting the floor right next to Harry, but Harry didn't look injured.

Harry looked toward where Remus was looking, which made Voldemort look. They were all staring at the dark drops of blood, which continued to fall to the floor from an unknown source. Then Harry started to laugh, while Voldemort smirked. Remus was the only one in the room who still wasn't aware of what was happening.

"So, it seems as if I've been found out," laughed Harry. He was looking at Voldemort, as if expecting him to answer, but he didn't. He just continued to smirk. "Alright, I'll admit it . . . it's a concealing charm. Riddle, would you like to take them off?"

"With pleasure," he hissed, sending a shiver down Remus's spine.

As Voldemort moved his wand over Harry, bruises started to appear. When he was finished, Remus gasped. There were bruises all over Harry's body, so numerous that it was hard to find any part of him that wasn't either dark purple or a sickening yellow-green color. Cuts and other injury's were all over his body. Harry looked like he hadn't eaten in years. Remus saw his ribs through his shirt, a few of which looked broken. Remus felt sick.

"Wha-what the hell did you do to him?" stuttered Remus. 

Harry laughed again, but when he turned around, there were tears in his eyes. When he spoke, it sounded like it was taking all of his self- control to keep his voice level. "So, am I that ugly, that you would think that only riddle could have done this to me? Well, I can tell you now that you're wrong." He lowered his voice to a whisper so that only Remus could hear. "It was the Dursley's Remus, my own relatives."

Remus's eyes widened, and he nodded, knowing that Harry purposely didn't let Voldemort hear.

"Excuse me Potter, I didn't catch that."

"Don't worry about it tom, I said nothing important," said Harry, ignoring the hiss of anger from Voldemort. "I do believe that we have business that needs to be sorted out."

It took a few moments, but Voldemort finally smiled evilly. "Eager to meet death Mr. Potter? Very well, that can be arranged. But . . . what about the wolf?"

Remus was truly frightened. He had no clue what was going to happen to him, now that he knew who "professor Ddear" was.

Harry turned to look Remus straight in the eye. "Yes, we should do something with him before we continue." Remus's eyes widened. Was Harry going to give him to Voldemort that easily? But Harry continued. "Let me take care of him."

Then Harry whispered again so that only Remus could hear, "you know, if you didn't care about me so much, this wouldn't have happened. If you hadn't cared . . .and If I didn't love you . . ." he paused, then said, "I know that you would die to protect me Remus, which is why I have to let you go. It would be silly to ask you to remember me huh. So then . . . goodbye Remus," said Harry, choking on his tears. He brought his wand about a foot away from Remus. The last thing Remus heard was "obliviate" before the world went black.

* * *

"Shit!" Remus said as he pushed Harry behind him. Harry had to laugh. 'Aw, Remus is trying to protect me.' He watched Remus throw a curse at Voldemort, knowing that it would be useless. Harry was right, of course. Voldemort brushed it off as if it were nothing, which didn't surprise Harry. But what did was when he heard Voldemort utter a curse back. Harry hadn't thought that he would attack Remus back, as he was pretty insignificant to Voldemort. 

"cru . . ."

Harry looked at Remus. 'Come on Remus, move!' thought Harry. But Remus didn't move. He just stood there, frozen in place. 'Damn it!' thought Harry as he ran in front of Remus just as Voldemort finished saying the curse, taking the hit for him.

Pain erupted from the spot on his chest where the curse hit him and flowed through his body. Harry felt like screaming, but he didn't. He wouldn't give Voldemort the pleasure. Instead, he bit his lip as hard as he could. Harry fell on his knees, trying not to cry out after about a minute. After what seemed like hours, just as Harry was on the verge of tears, the pain stopped abruptly. But the lingering feeling of the curse and the pain that was coming from his scar (Voldemort must have been pretty happy) wasn't much of an improvement.

Slowly, unsteadily, when he felt a little better, Harry stood. He felt Remus looking at him, so Harry looked right back. Something compelled Harry to speak, so he did. "I don't think that you quite understood what I said Remus. You're all I have, so I will not allow you to be hurt."

The look of admiration in Remus's eyes was enough thanks for Harry. All of a sudden, Remus looked to the floor, and just stared at something. Harry looked down and saw a big red mark. Eventually this also drew Voldemort's attention. They all stared, until a drop of whatever it was fell from Harry and into the puddle that was forming. It took a second, but after Harry figured out what it was, he laughed bitterly. He looked at Remus. Remus obviously had no clue what was going on, although he knew that the puddle of red was blood, but Voldemort smirked knowingly.

"So, it seems as if I've been found out," said Harry, still laughing. He looked at Voldemort, expecting him to say something, but he didn't. "Alright, I'll admit it . . . it's a concealing charm. Riddle, would you like to take them off?"

"With pleasure," he hissed, though Harry really didn't' need an answer. He knew that Voldemort would love to torture him in any way he could. He looked toward Remus. Harry was terrified of what his reaction would be to seeing what he really looked like. Harry's whole body started to tingle. He could feel his charm being lifted, but he also felt that Voldemort was having trouble taking it off.

'How strong is he, that he has trouble taking off a simple concealing charm?' thought Harry, still looking at Remus. The question was forgotten when Harry saw the look on Remus's face. Remus gasped, and he started to look sick as he looked at Harry. The look of pain, anger, and remorse in Remus's eyes made Harry want to cry, not that he would. If Remus couldn't be story, then Harry would.

But then Remus said, "Wha-what the hell did you do to him?"

That was enough to break Harry. He laughed, feeling tears in his eyes. It took all he had to keep his voice leveled. He had to be strong. The two people in the room were the last two he wanted to let think of him as weak. It was bad enough that he was crying.

"So, am I that ugly, that you would think that only riddle could have done this to me? Well, I can tell you now that you're wrong." He whispered the next part, so that only Remus could hear him, though he was reluctant to say the next part at all. "it was the Dursleys Remus, my own relatives."

Remus's eyes widened, and he nodded in understanding. "Excuse me Potter, I didn't catch that."

' You weren't supposed to,' thought Harry, but out loud he said, "Don't worry about it tom, I said nothing important," said Harry, ignoring the hiss of anger from Voldemort. "I do believe that we have business that needs to be sorted out."

Harry watched as an evil smile appeared on Voldemort's face, and Harry's scar started to burn again, something he hadn't realized had stopped. "Eager to meet death Mr. Potter? Very well, that can be arranged. But . . . what about the wolf?"

Harry had been expecting this. He knew that it was unlikely that Remus leave at all, something he overlooked when he revealed who Ddear was to Remus. He had to protect Remus, that was his priority, but how?

Harry looked at Remus and said, "yes, we should do something with him before we continue."

Harry could feel Voldemort's surprise, which only served in making his scar hurt even more, which annoyed Harry to no end. Remus looked somewhere between stunned and hurt before a look of determination replaced it.

'Does he actually think that I would hand him over to Voldemort? How many times do I have to tell him that I will not let him get hurt?' thought Harry. He said out loud, "let me take care of him.

Harry whispered to Remus, "You know, if you didn't care about me so much, this wouldn't have happened. If you hadn't cared . . . "Harry choked a little on his words as more tears started flowing down his face. ". . . .And If I didn't love you . . . I know that you would die to protect me Remus, which is why I have to let you go. It would be silly to ask you to remember me huh. So then . . . goodbye Remus . . .obliviate!,"

Remus was thrown away by the speech, literally. The sheer force of Harry's spell sent him to the other side of the room, where he hit the wall with a loud BANG. Harry swore he saw blood, but he didn't want to endanger Remus anymore than he had to by drawing unnecessary attention to him. He trusted that Remus's injuries could wait until later.

"Are you ready potter?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," replied Harry, feeling his hands start to sweat.

After Harry reapplied his concealing charms, they both bowed, and then got into their dueling positions.

"Crucio," said Voldemort, starting the duel.

"Stupefy!" yelled Harry.

Curses flew to both sides. Harry dogged most of them, getting hit by the cutting curse twice, while Voldemort struggled a little to block Harry's curses. It wasn't long after Harry was hit by a spell that had temporarily disoriented him when he was Voldemort pull something from his sleeve that flashed in the dim light of the room.

'A silver dagger!' thought Harry, alarmed. He knew exactly what Voldemort was going to do with it. Harry ran to where Remus was slumped against a wall, planting himself in front of Remus with his arms spread out just as Voldemort threw the dagger.

The weapon hit Harry in the center of his chest. All time seemed to freeze. Harry felt blood coming up his throat and into his mouth. He couldn't scream, couldn't breathe, and as time began to run again, Harry felt a tug behind hi navel. 'Bloody hell,' he thought as he saw colors fly him. Something was defiantly different about what he was experiencing that made it clear that Harry was hit with no ordinary portkey.

Those were his last thoughts as he fell on his side in a familiar grassy area, the dagger still lodged in his chest.

* * *

**A/N : : : : : : :** well, how was that chapter. some people are probably wondering why i put pretty much the same thing down twice, but my answer is just that i wanted to put both harry and remus's point of view. Is that too confusing? I'm trying to get used to not posting for a while, so get used to these 20 day periods where I don't update. I'll only update once a month. Anyway, I'm in the middle of chapter eight, but I think I've hit writers block. I don't know. I'm also really working on my other stories, but with that writers block . . .  
  
**Review Replies :  
**  
**Queen-Seta/Remmy-the-insane** - thanks for reviewing! I hope you liked this chapter.  
  
**Ferokeroberos** - I don't know what you mean by "filling the void", but I have an answer to your other question. As I had said in an earlier chapter, you have to pretend that very few people know who "Tom Marvalo (?) Riddle" is, except for a certain few (Harry is one of those few, he knows from CoS). Dumbledor is not one of those few. Plus, he really is old and forgetful. It wouldn't be the first time that he let Voldemort or one of his followers teach at Hogwarts (well, he was with one of the teachers while they taught). Yeah, sorry if the story's confusing. I hope this chapter was better.  
  
**diamond004** - as I said before, thank you soooo much for pointing out that Harry's scar didn't hurt. This story will have quite a few chapters that I've already pretty much planned out. I mean, I have what I've posted so far, and then I'm pretty sure I know how it ends, so all I really have to do is fill in the rest. Yes, I am planning a sequel . . . I guess . . . well, it's not really planning, it's just thinking . . . a lot of thinking. I don't really even know how Harry going into the past would play a part, so I might just make that a completely different story. I could even make it part of my other story (which I'm planning on posting soon!). I don't really know. I'll try to make Harry and Draco just friends if I do make a sequel, but I can't promise you anything.  
  
**Vivas** - sorry you couldn't beta my story. I wish you a lot of luck on your fics, and I hope you keep reviewing mine! I'll see you on msn when my computer is back up.  
  
**Lizzie Black** - thanks, I'm glad you liked it. Consider this : if you thought that there was nothing in your life that mattered, would you take risks? With that thought in mind, imagine yourself in a situation where you would usually cower in fear and/or you have no chance of survival. Since you have nothing to lose, why would you face things with fear? It's not that Harry and Voldemort are friends; it's just that Harry has nothing to lose. Why shouldn't he be confident, or at least fake it. If you haven't noticed, in most of the books Voldemort talks to Harry in a calm manner, so Harry is doing the same. Did I help, or did I confuse you more? Look at my reply to Ferokeerobeos if you want to know why Dumbledor doesn't know who tom riddle is.  
  
**Firestar038** - thanks for reviewing. I'll try to be better about updating.  
  
Okay guys, I'll probably update around the same time next month, so be ready. The chapter will be really short, but it'll be worth it, you'll see. Please review!!  
  
Word count : 2,887


End file.
